i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
you never un-have a 4some
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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