Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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