Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize