At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
