this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
