I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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