So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize