"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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