how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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