TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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