Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
