just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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