I heard we made out
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
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