make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
