Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
