for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
