i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
