i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
