dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
