You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
