She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
