Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
