Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
