I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
