Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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