Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
