I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize