Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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