i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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