just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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