I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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