my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
