i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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