i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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