She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
