I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
