So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
