So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
