he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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