Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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