we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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