Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
