I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
