they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
