the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
