I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
