my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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