I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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