Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
