so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
