sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
