is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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