ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
