Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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