Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
