I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
