At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
