Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
