They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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