Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
its not stalking. its research.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
