I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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