i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
